Disclaimer Beware, the mind reading disclaimer! In this moment you might experience mixed feelings of suprise, delight and nostalgia, am I right? You think something like "Really, he brought back disclaimers?" and "Come on! One hundred years hadn't passed yet!" Well then, you should know that pretty good joke can require a fair amount of preparation. Maybe preparation of several years length. The main thing is for it to work. W to the mind reading disclaimer.
Out of nowhere came delight...
...and waiting miracle that's blind...
...VirusSofT company suddenly presents
Really? Are you still lying there?
And what else am I supposed to do?
I dunno. A lot of time has passed already. Could've at least... done something already.
Go fight with Eggman!
I don't want to.
Instigate shadow!
Don't feel like it.
Tease Amy!
She came yesterday. Told me that she's disappointed in me and then left.
Peek on Rouge under waterfall.
...сall me as well.
I am not in the mood.
Oh, come on! How much longer will you be depressed? You look absolutely awluf! And smell! And there's something on your face.
Those... are mud pie crumbs.
Oooh, we can't get Tails back. Only he can climb out of the ass he got himself into.
Phew. I liked it better than something was happening.
But everyone scattered to their own dens and isn't coming out.
Does no one really care about the things we saw in future?
So be it! Keep rotting here!
And I... I..!
I'm going to rot near my altar...
Book titles: Technology 2037 Technology 2020 Technology 2001 Technology 99 Political jokes How to cook hedgehog's meat Dark Type Trainer 1000 laws of thermodynamics
(sigh)
Can you really get out of there on your own? Without our help?
But... how can we pull you out of... space outside of time?
...is it even possible?
Damn it, Knuckles's right! I have to do something! But what can I even do? What can I do myself in situation like this?
Well, Sonic, it seems you have to do something you'd never done in your life!
Take a shower and clear up your head!
SONIC
the HEDHUG
Season 3: The last of their kind.
Okay, let's be rational. Where did we even met those time wormholes?
Mobius's Heart, part 1.
If waiting December for Little Planet to show up is too long then I have only one option.
Time machine!
What the... where did it go? No... someone stole it!
But who needs time machine? Who could've stole it?
Amy? Eggman?
Ice knight..?
Anyway, what am I even doubting? Of course, it's fatman! So let's pay him a visit, again!
Gotcha! What are you going to do with his ma...
This ain't time machine!
Thanks, I know.
What the hell do you even need?
Sonic the hedgehog, you are officially appointed persona non grata whithin the territory of Robotnik's empire and you're required to "get lost"!
Ha! Y'think this cage can stop me?
Yes, I think so. For once in a way we revised our metallurgic industry and optimized half of austenitic alloys produciton technologies.
Okay, this'll keep him busy for a while. We can continue our job.
And you sure this is a good idea? After all, it's Miles Prower!
I noticed this!
It's not just him...
For all these years, I had studied the surface of Mobius the best I could. I'd explored every island, every continent, every piece of land!
But my biggest mistake was that I still had been exploring THE SURFACE of planet leaving outside of my view everything hidden BENEATH it!
You think IT is there?
Fox had a reason to give us a clue pointing in that direction.
But doesn't it bother you that it's, well, Tails? An unfreindly to us character?
Again, I noticed this! But I get it. This might be a clever trap. Or something even worse. But I won't retreat. This expedition will be a test run for our future operation.
Then I will prepare prototype B4-D4-F for launch.
And I will provide us with moral insurance.
Oh-oh-oh!!
Huh?
Ouch..! Damn it, how do you treat trash, uh? Trash has feelings too! Trash is unhappy with such intolerant attitude and is ready to cancel you!
Hey, you... stop right there!
Whoa, did it gеt colder here since last time?
Argh... What the hell are you doing here? Guarding something, I bet!
Rude, rude, RUDE! I'll teach you basic manners, metalic clankers!
Hmph? Why do I hear boss music?
Cluster's Echo
Hey, worm, don't run away from me!
Damn it! Where do they come from?
Hey, that's not fair!
Sorry, gotta go! We'll play later.
Huh, it's tight here. What kind of thing this is? Where are we flying to?
Ah?? Wait, what? We... aren't rising up but going down! Oh no. No-no-no-no-no! No!
What kind of ship is this that goes under water?!
Aw-aw! [Я не понял, что он сказал]. Let me outta here!!
Ah! No! Water! No, no! help me...
Clean yourself and follow me.
Long-awaited movie.
Your friend repaired Bummer however... not only that. New battery had a suprise that I finally decrypted.
Dedicated king
Here's text
There's also text
And even more text
and transparent text
Fox gave me some coordinates labeled "You will find it here".
Who's "it"?
If only I knew! How can that ferret know what I'm looking for?
Why did he direct me here? What guided him?
Unlikely he's hiding here.
I think so as well. However, I have an assumption and if it's right then I need you as an insurance.
And how will I help you?
If it's a trap for me and fox's sittin' in the bushes waiting for his prey, then he'll less likely put his plan into action when your head will be on the line.
Hmph... Treacherously and maliciously! But I don't mind it.
I don't care will you mind it or not. Right now you are in my submarine surrounded by kilometrs of water.
I will throw you overboard at any second if you do something unacceptable.
Argh... Fine, I will take a walk with you... wherever you need to.
Let's assume that I accompany you in the new wonderfull adventure
But you owe me a chilli-dog!
I don't owe you anything, rat with spikes!
And that was rude.
(I dunno what's written on the book's cover)
Why do engineers constantly carry calculators with them?
So they'll know there to buy it, just in case!
Hmph? Did your AC strated running harder?
Why do students always carry their backpacks?
So they can be ready for exams at any time!
Hmm... nope, AC's fine. However... temperature really dropped. Maybe we entered a cold stream?
Why do doctors always use words "very important"?
So their patients will never forget how important they are!
Cold greeting, Doctor. Cold greeting...
Why doesn't Sonic the hedgehog like travel by a car?
Because he likes to run at his maximum speed!
You!
Why did Doctor Eggman try to use eggs as a weapon against Sonic?
Glitch? You... what the hell are you doing here?
I think it's quite obvious, hedgehog: you're alone, surrounded by vast amount of water... and those who thirst to detach your head from your body.
Because he wanted to see Sonic being scrambled!
Why does Tails like riding his plane?
Because he afraids, he'll get tangled up in his tailses running on the ground!
What lesson did artificial intelligence learn during the time of carantine?
Hey! No scuffles on board!
If we'll be left home for a long time, we'll become AI as well because we also need lots of time to process information in the web.
Really? Doctor, isn't it the moment you've been waiting for all these years? When again will you have such a chance to destroy hedgehog?
What was the slogan in the USSR: "From each of their abilities, to everyone of their needs"?
Answer: "From each of their abilities, to everyone by a schedule."
How do you call polite and well-mannered vegetable?
Uhm... on the way back when I won't need hime anymore!
Galanturnik!
How naive... Doctor, how long do you live and don't get the key element of all your plans: anything that can go wrong WILL GO WRONG!
What did cat say than she saw mouse on the horizon?
"Finally delivery has arrived!"
Why don't pokemons like to play chess?
Beacuse they always play with pokemons!
Nevertheless, I'm gonna ask you close airlock door on the over side.
Why is soccer ball such a bad actor?
Oh, I shall close... I shall close...
Beacuse he always falls on the floor the moment he's touched!
Why are cowboys always on the horses?
Are you idiots or idiots?! Stop this!
Because air tickets to Texas are very expensive.
He can't defend against both of us, thus tries to reflect only serious attacks. Leave them to me. Hit with a lot of weak ones.
Huh? Okay.
Whaddya think, will he return?
Not now. But he can be as persistent as you. I'd tie both of you to a rocket and send to outer space.
Screw you, doc! I would love it!
Russian, american and german enter a bar.
Maybe at least you will explain to me who's that guy and why is he trying to kill you so hard?
Bartender asks: "What do you want?"
Russian says: "Vodka", american says: "Beer", german says: "Apricot jam".
Actually, I met him after your Olympics and before I, well, died. Died because of him by the way.
Bartender asks in surprise: "Apricot jam? Never heard about such a drink".
German says: "Yes, in Germany we like to experiment with canned food".
Huh, so he was telling truth.
American, german and russian enter a bar. Bartender asks: "What do you want?"
However, if you had accidently died in lava, I would have been ashamed.
American orders a burger, german - beer and russian - vodka.
But then other memories began to surface in my mind.
American says: "This burger is too big so I'll have to skip lunch tomorrow."
Maybe because Tails screwed up during my revival or something like that... I began to remember that I had seen Glitch before. Even before you.
German says: "And my beer's so good I can drink this all day long".
The Russian, inhaling the aroma of vodka, says:
And I don't know what am I'll say to my wife when she'll ask where I was that night.
Really?
Memories of the ancient mechanical temple under Green Hills comes to my mind. Portal leading somewhere to space.
This is where, I think, I encountered him for the first time. He tried to kill me for the first time back then.
Then I was too young and weak, I couldn't fight him back. The thing that saved me was that I was not alone.
What do you mean? You met Tails BEFORE me?
No, but I had a pet Julian by my side.
He protected me and, let's say, taught me some tricks that I still use.
Russian, german and american play golf. Russian hits first and hits the forest.
That's the first time I hear you had a pet-fighter.
German says: "Let me show you how it's done" and grabs his driver.
What happened to him? Did I kill him accidently? I just need to know for my achievement board.
German hits the ball and it flies to the near standing crocodile. Croc opens his jaw and catches the ball.
N-no, I don't think so. One day, Julian just... left. Rather, dug away. As if someone was calling him.
Then american is doing his hit. Ball flies directly at crocodile's head and croc spits out ball in the water.
Russian can't hold so he says:
And in Russia we also play golf, however, we don't have any crocodile in the water so we're just loosing balls.
He began to dig a hole so deep that I couldn't see the bottom.
Russian, german and american are invited in the kitchen for dinner. Chef announced that today's meal is omelette.
I never saw him again.
Wait a sec! He went underground? Was it a mole?
German says: "I want my omelette to contain sausage and cheese."
American says: "I want my omelette to contain bacon and hash brown."
Spider.
A spider?
Yes, a spider.
Russian says: "I want my omelette to contain onion and ham."
Spiders don't dig holes.
Unless it's...
Chef finnishes every order but forgets about russian's omelette. Russian asks: "Where's my omelette?"
Chef says: "Excuse me, I forgot it. What did you want in your omelette?"
Upon our return we'll have a very serious talk, hedgehog. I'm even willing to wait with my deadly trap that'll for sure end you like a bug this time.
Russian says: "I don't need anything, just put it to the rest of dishes."
Russian, german and american fly on the plane. Suddenly, plane starts to loose altitude and gonna crash.
Does it... inspire... hope?
Germans yells: "Give me my parachute! I know how to use it!"
No, it inspires fear unlike anything you've ever seen before. Although, I'm not even sure after all this bul###it we saw in the future.
American yells: "Give me my parachut! I'm the smartest and strongest here, I'll surely survive!"
Russian yells: "Give me both parachutes! I'll save 'em both!"
Panic overtakes everyone on the board and everyone is hurry to put on own parachute. But then plane reaches ground.
Did you just beep?
Shut up!
Mrgh... I was weak... AGAIN.
Damn it... this shit is draining all my powers.
(Crystal's pulsing)
Hmph? What is all that about?
(Crystal's pulsing again)
I know. And I can still finish the initiated.
Whatever they find down there, I shall have another chance.
Oh yeah! And also, joke that insults politicians!
How long do we have to sail?
How do I know? Hour? Day? Week?
And, of course, joke about believers!
This ship was not designed for fast immersions.
And about non-believers!
And what was it designed for?
Let's not forget the joke about animal lovers!
Look, I understand that you're an evil tyrant, conquered world, all of those things. But you can't ask us SUCH a thing...
Uhh, fine. But you'll make us a submarine: we want to see deep-sea jellyfish.
Let's not forget the joke about animal lovers!
Eggman?
And let's end on the joke that insults the entire humanity!
(Cool singing)
And let's end on the joke that insults the entire humanity!
Uhm... for my top secret base deep under water, yeah!
(Quite a lot of time later...)
Ewww, it's damp in here and smell's like... cheese?
Mold. It's natural. However... something is still off here...
Bummer, probe's launched, you see something?
Yep, connection is established, everything works perfectly.
Really? No interference at all?
Yes, everything's hunky-dory. Even in your bathroom there is more interference. However, there's a reason for this...
This is odd... but okay.
What the hell this even is?!
It's Tails, your best friend.
Don't show off! Why did you make a robot-Tails?
I thought it'd be ironic to send Tails to an expedition caused by Tails himself.
W-why?
He has crucial equipment, spare gear for us, backup armament, critical teleportation module and even stock of provision! Taught by bitter experience...
Gimme!
We've just sailed out of the ocean. Get in there, there's lots of water.
(Sounds of disgust)
This is my special fluid. Fits only for humans, for hedgehogs it's basically a poison, so stay away, gopnik!
You're mean, fatso!
Ouch!
Yeah, I had included a lot of ways of protection for this expedition. Never know, from where can you expect a catch.
It seems you woud've been fine even without me!
First of all, YOU are the one who infiltrated on the board. Secondly, I'll still need someone to throw on the first trap on my way if I find one.
Wowie! Is this also... protection?
Sort of. Move ahead.
Okay, we're getting close to labeled coordinates. Bummer, connection's still there?
Yes, there is.
Why are you so worried 'bout this connection?
'cause I've implemented five ways to maintain it at this depth. We're basically in the middle of nowhere and everything works fine?
Ohh, so that's why there's a cabel behind us.
Then, Doctor, your theory comes true. You are approaching the Central Anomaly.
The what?
(An unsatisfied sigh)
The fox and I had an argument long time ago. We know that Mobius is clearly an artificial planet because it consists of a core, a huge water shell and islands floating on the surface.
But we had a disagreement in turns of what can be in center of the planet to maintain such a form.
Did he bring you here to settle the long-standing argument?
I don't know! But... for some reason he brought me here.
Energy indicators show activity. Ionization and electrification are elevated. Are you okay there?
Of course, I'm in the shield.
Oh, so that's what started flatten me.
Pressure's high. We are most likely approaching the gravity source ,very planet's center... the Mobius's heart.
God damn it, this ain't good.
What happend?
Bummer, do the remote diagnostics.
Wow. It seems machine is... out of charge?
How is this even possible? It has chaos-powered core!
Nevertheless, it's dead. You have clearly entered some kind of field that... drains chaos? blocks chaos?
Damn it! Well then, switching to classic electricity and continuing on foot.
HOLY CRAP...
RETREAT!!
What? Why?
Retreat! Immediately!
What are these egg?
Doc, what do you know about them?
Let's discuss it upon our return on the surface. Not here. Not now.
But what about... new amazing adventure?
I don't give a shit about adventures! You don't even know what kind of crap this is.
Doctor, I have received confirmation. It's really them. Activity's absent but vital signs are present.
I had zero doubts. Establish link with the ark and prepare Arklight for the launch.
Wow. Are you... sure? Just like that?
Just like that! We have clearly defined protocol and decision how to act in this situation was made hell of a time ago! Do your job!
Ow, um, okay. Should I contact anyone? Tell them that Mobius right now might be destroyed?
Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait... WHAT? Mobius will be destroyed?!
No, don't warn anyone, screw them. I'm, commin' back.
All right, cap.
Hey, stop right there! I don't get it! What was it about "destroy Mobius"?
Oh, this. Well, in my motherland it's done this way: if building that's infested with termites cannot be saved, then it is better to burn it with righteous fire.
What are you talking about...
Oh, screw it. I don't have any time to babble with you. RumMiles, do the the spark evacuation.
Eggman, wait!!!
Cap, are... you sure about your decision?
Do you hear any doubt in my voice?
You may have an adrenaline rush. You have no control over speech, thinking procces, bladder and acting ability.
I am sure! Open portal to the ark.
fine...
That's it, Doctor, I think I've finished the recovery procces, finally!
I thought you'd fix the scar as well.
It must stay as a reminder... about the future that awaits us.
It's not waiting for us. We won't live this long. At least not me. So I don't care.
"Arklight"
The deployment is running.
AHH! What the..?!
What this even is?
A weapon of ubelievable power...
Aimed directly at... BION?!
I can't let that happen!
Gray walkers, destroy the weapon.
Is Eggman showing off again?
I'll take care of it. Concentrate on you task. The fox is critically important for us.
I know, I know...
Oh... so you've decided to take SUCH a measures ather all, Doctor?
Heh, do I really need to interfere?
Aiming systems: initialization complete Defense systems: activated Everything: ready
Final charge:
1-st Arklight charge 2-nd Arklight charge etc.
Captain, I think some of Arklights are under attack
Some of them but not every.
Welp, it seems on Wisdom Keeper our icy friend has showed up again.
Under Angel Island... ow, Shadow and Knuckles are in charge.
And in the first sector we are attacked by the swarm of some weird robots...
Hmph, never seen anything like them!
Over Arklights are fine and ready to shoot. Five minutes to charge.
It'll be enough to burn down this whole bug spawner.
You can sacrifice that easily everything you have built on Mobius to destroy them? Even your precious project "Genesis"?
They must not be underestimated.
Yes, in the future fox showed us some really scary shit. However, with this shit I have been fighting face-to-face so with this shit I have a personal beef!
Mobius has no purpose while it's alive and can revive again.
None of my plan will be safe unless I'm sure that I'm done with this threat once and for all!
I am ready to sacrifice everything to destroy...
CLUSTER
"Arklight" system ready for launch.
FIRE!
Do you REALLY want to destroy Mobius?
Yes I do! Fire!
Please, confirm your wish to shoot in the Mobius.
I... confirm! Yes, shoot it!
Please, confirm you are not a robot with this captcha. Choose images consisting traffic lights.
Desk-hitting authentification is complete. Arklight's launch is initialized.
Finally I found where you've gone. And I... won't lose to you... again!!
TO BE CONTINUED...